I grew up in a musical family. Music is something we would just do for fun. My dad was a pastor and since I lived right next to a church I would go over in the evening as the sun was going down and just sit on the steps in front of the alter. Sometimes I would lay down and just stare at the ceiling in silence. There is something about being in such a sacred place, in the stillness, just feeling what you need to feel.

I grew up and for 12 years I worked full time in ministry. Any time I wanted I could drive to the church and sit down in the front and just feel what I needed to feel. Soon I started bringing an iPad full of music, or i’d play the piano, and I would sing. I would sing for myself, my greatest form of worship.
I would sing my heart out in that room with no one watching.
Feeling what I would need to feel always came out even better through music.
I would always feel a little lighter when I was done.

Recently, I stepped down from my full time church job. I don’t intend to talk much about that, but I will say, the place that gave me so much joy also took it away. Stealing a line that my friend once used “the house that broke me.” I stopped singing. I stopped a lot of things. The feelings that I felt were no longer freeing… they completely sucked me of every bit of joy. Now, many months later, after MUCH HEALING (and much more healing to come) I feel the yearn for music again. I wondered if I ever would again. I no longer work at a church… I no longer have a sanctuary. I really only have a house full of people that are always loud. So, I sit in my car and sing sometimes, but what I really want to do is sit down in the silence, in my spot in the church, and feel all the feels that I have, and worship…. Sometimes I feel so cheated. I know that God has a plan. That joy is in the process and that in the midst of this season God is shaping me. THIS. I. KNOW. but that doesn’t mean my soul doesn’t hurt a bit. I heard this song today by Lauren Daigle and I wanted my dark and silent sanctuary so bad. I wanted the words to this song in front of me and I wanted to sing. So, instead of doing that I decided to share with you this beautiful song. For me, a song of hope. A reminder that my needs will always be supplied. A reminder that I am dearly loved by a Father that gives me everything I need. No matter what.
Please look below to hear these song EVERYTHING by Lauren Daigle